SHEP Talk

Sexual Pleasure: Solo Edition

sheptalk — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 06:56:41 +0000

When sexual health and safe sex are talked about, it’s often assumed that what we referring to as “sex” requires two people, and often people imagine heterosexual intercourse, i.e. penetrative penis-vagina sex. However, a huge part of sexual health is knowing your own mind and body, not just your partner’s, and one of the best ways to do that is through masturbation.
So what exactly is masturbation? Masturbation is the self-stimulation of genitals and other body parts (there are other erogenous zones on the human body, such as the anus or nipples) to achieve sexual arousal and pleasure, often to the point of orgasm. Stimulation can be achieved through massaging/rubbing with hands and fingers, streams of water, sex toys, and various other ways.
Masturbation is generally regarded by society as a normal, healthy activity, but many people stigmatize masturbation as a perverse act. However, masturbation is very common: in one national study, 95% of males and 89% of females reported that they have masturbated. Many different people masturbate during various stages of lives: young children, teenagers, adults, the elderly, people having sex with a partner, and people who have never had a sexual experience with another person before. In fact, masturbation is the first sexual act experienced by most people.
Other concerns that comes to mind for many people are the risks/safety associated with masturbation. There are many health myths associated with masturbation, such as people who masturbate will lose the ability to have children, lose the ability to orgasm during intercourse, get STD’s, grow hair on their palms, etc. However, the medical community considers masturbation to be safe, as long as done safely and in moderation. And by “safely,” I mean respecting one’s anatomy, such as being careful in choosing what objects to rub/insert on and into genitalia and body cavities and how vigorously these areas are stimulated.
The main reason most people masturbate is because it feels good. However, as I said earlier, masturbation is an important contributor to overall sexual health and pleasure. Masturbating is important for exploring one’s own body and sexuality. In other words, it’s an easy way for people to learn and practice what feels good for them, which varies greatly from person to person. This can translate to masturbation becoming a fulfilling and enjoyable part of peoples’ lives but also to more enjoyable sexual experiences with a partner.
So if you already masturbate, good for you and I hope this article has eased any of your concerns. If you haven’t masturbated before, I highly encourage you to try! You should try it somewhere you won’t be disturbed by anyone, like in your own room (if you live with a roommate, hopefully they stick to a preset schedule) or the shower. This way, you can have privacy and relax so you can explore yourself deeply and fully.

Healthy and Happy Together

sheptalk — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 19:43:04 +0000

I like to think about relationships in the same way that I think about sex:

What does it mean to be in a relationship?
What types of relationships can people be having?
What are some healthy and unhealthy signs in a relationship?
How can one make a relationship emotionally and physically safe for all partners involved?

Simply, a relationship is what you define it to be. Out of curiosity I looked up the definition for relationship according to dictionary.com. As expected, the definition for a relationship is very broad and open to interpretation. A relationship is defined as “a connection, association, or involvement, connection between peoples by blood or marriage, an emotional or other connection between people, or a sexual involvement; affair.” Specific types of relationships that can exist within the umbrella term are friends, family, casual/acquaintances, and romantic/intimate. Most people will have all of these relationships in some form or another at any given time in their lives. So the question is how can you keep all of these relationships healthy?

I like thinking about relationships as existing on a spectrum that ranges from healthy to unhealthy to abusive. If you feel that a relationship is moving in an unhealthy way, you can make the choice of working on the relationship or ending it. The spectrum appeals to me because it is important to remember that relationships have many different aspects and that people have different needs. What may be the most important aspect of the relationship for you may not be the most important aspect for another. Healthy relationships include communication, respect, trust, honesty, equality, loving and taking care of you, enjoying personal time, and making mutual choices around sexual boundaries and safer sex methods. Of course, healthy relationships among family and friends may look very different from healthy relationships with sexual or romantic partners. Nevertheless, a healthy relationship is one that allows for positive growth, security, and happiness.

Some aspects of an unhealthy relationship include lack of communication, disrespect, lack of trust, dishonesty, one person attempting to control or pressure another, not spending time with others, being pressured into sexual activity, and ignoring the consequences of sex. This list isn’t meant to be comprehensive, but only a place to start thinking about the important aspects of a relationship for you and how someone may or may not be meeting your needs. On the opposite end of the spectrum is an abusive relationship. Characteristics of an abusive relationship can include feeling trapped in the relationship, communicating in a way that is insulting or demeaning, mistreatment of the feelings and safety of another, making false accusations to justify physical or verbal harm, denial of abusive actions, feelings of being controlled, forced isolation, and forced sexual activity.

If you are in an unhealthy or abusive relationship of any sort, it is important that you take care of yourself, be safe, and reach out for help. If you are wondering about what to do in your relationship, you can educate yourself about relationship violence and what it entails, talk with people that you trust, or seek help from a health center, counseling office, faith-based organization, or a hotline.

At the end of the day, relationships shouldn’t hurt and you deserve to be in healthy relationships. The greatest thing that I think anyone can carry with them when entering new relationships is The Relationship Bill of Rights, which I have attached a link to below. You have the right to a healthy relationship. Those of us living in the dorms of the UC Berkeley campus are in luck because the health workers will be promoting healthy relationships the entire month of November.

So remember, stay healthy and stay happy!

Relationship Bill of Rights:

http://www.sa.ucsb.edu/women/CMSMedia/Documents/billofrights.pdf

Sources:

The False Aphrodisiacs

sheptalk — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 01:57:49 +0000

Aphrodisiacs increase sexual arousal, raise certain hormone levels and in short terms, get people ready to “do some deeds.” Some aphrodisiacs gained popular fame for their bodily pleasures and when asked to list off a few aphrodisiacs, most would yell out oysters, chocolate, lavender…wine!

Let us bring our attention to that last one on the list. Many call alcohol a social lubricant, some even may say it promotes sexual activity, but can it rightfully be called an aphrodisiac?

In the break down of the above definition of aphrodisiacs, alcohol doesn’t always fit the bill. Alcoholic beverages can in fact make you hot and heavy (the phenomena of an “alcohol blanket” that keeps a body warm in seemingly freezing temperatures, and lets face the fact that most alcohols out there when drunken in large quantities will give you a little more cushion for the pushin’) but sexual arousal is not always the result of intoxication. When consuming alcohol, hormones are released differently like aphrodisiacs, but whether it helps people have sexual activity is often debated.
From the physiological point of view, alcohol seems to be more of a “cockblock” than turn on. Alcohol may be thought of as a sexual promoter because it sometimes activates hormones that increase libido and often vastly decreases many of those inhibitions that are present during the day. Reality shows that alcoholic beverages suppress many vital parts of the sexual response cycle.

According to an issue of the British Medical Bulletin, alcohol consumption causes testosterone production in males to decrease, placing a bit of a wet blanket on most male’s libido and arousal. Many males have a harder time than usual achieving an erection that has gained a popular name in the halls as “whiskey dick.” The effects continue when many also have more difficulty or more latency when reaching climax.
Females have quite a different physiological reaction (one of mother nature’s cruel jokes). Females begin to release more testosterone then usual when drinking, which does in fact increase sexual libido, but the stages of the sexual response cycle suffer. In many, it reduces vaginal fluids to be released, decreasing lubrication as well as causes decreased sensitivity during climax concerning both the intensity and the ability to have orgasms.

Both males and females have reported increased sexual arousal during activity while intoxicated, but when monitored, results show the psychological and physiological effects do not match up according to a study released in The New England Journal of Medicine. This may prove that physical sexual arousal may be often confused for decreased inhibitions.

Alcohol may not live up to everything its sexual reputation puts out but there are aphrodisiacs out there that provide nothing but the arousal they promise. Come find out about the beauty of sexual foods on upper Sproul on Monday with SHEP for Sexual Health Awareness Week!

Tang Tuesday

sheptalk — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 01:37:58 +0000

When you’re developing the first signs and symptoms of a cold, what do you do? Drink plenty of fluids, get lots of rest, stock up on throat drops, and visit your friendly Tang physician. Most everyone thinks of the Tang Center as a valuable resource for renewing, improving, and maintaining their health. But what many don’t realize is that beyond treating the flu, UC Berkeley’s Tang Center is the perfect place for many of your sexual health needs!

The Sexual Health Education Program (SHEP), run through the Health Promotion Unit of Tang, can assist students with most concerns, inquiries, and needs. SHEP Interns receive extensive training, making them the perfect people to visit for a Sexual Health Education Appointment (SHE). During this 45-minute meeting, you’re welcome to express all thoughts or questions related to the world of sexual health.

Whether you have SHIP or not, the Tang Center is an amazing place to stock up on all the sexy necessities! The Tang pharmacy offers a wide variety of safer sex supplies, including condoms, lubricant, and dental dams, for extremely cheap. In fact, you can purchase 10 condoms for only $2! So instead of dishing out the big bucks at your local pharmacy, stop by the big blue and orange building on Bancroft!

On top of all that, the Tang Center is your one-stop shop for STI testing. Want to know your status? Make an appointment today to get tested for HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhea, and more!

Tang: uhs.berkeley.edu

Communication is Lubrication

sheptalk — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 21:47:14 +0000

“Communication is the key to (fill in the blank).”

This is a quote we have all heard before from parents, teachers, friends, doctors, and even Disney characters. However, today you’re not going to hear it from me. Instead of communication being the key to something, today communication is lubrication. Communication will make your sexual relations easier and frictionless, just like a bottle of AstroGlide.
Touch me here, don’t touch me there, harder, softer…. I think you get the idea. In order to experience exquisite pleasure you will probably have to find a way to communicate what you want to your partner. Whether you want to communicate with an extra loud moan when your partner touches your sweet spot, of if you move their hand right where you want it, unless your partner is psychic communication is essential.
Pleasure is not the only subject that needs to be navigated in a sexual relationship. Safety is paramount and safe sex isn’t something that happens organically. Who will bring the condoms? Do I need to be worried about getting an STI? When were you last tested? I acknowledge that these are uncomfortable questions to ask, and that you may be afraid of the answers but ignorance isn’t bliss. Not when it means getting pregnant or transmitting and STI. Besides that, it’s awfully difficult to get lost in the pleasure and passion of sex when you have a nagging question in the back of your mind. The trick is finding the right moment and respecting yourself enough to know that your own safety and pleasure trumps any momentary awkwardness.
Once the deed is done, there is one last person it’s important to communicate with about your sexual relations. When visiting your doctor full disclosure of your sexual history, including: the number of partners you have had, the type of sex you engage in, and the protection and/or contraception you are or aren’t using is necessary. Your physician can best determine what tests you need if any when they have all the information. In addition, if you are interested in contraception your physician can help you decide which method is best for your lifestyle. Hopefully your doctor is someone you can trust and feel comfortable opening up to, if not consider finding a new physician.
This isn’t easy. I know that it’s easy for me to sit here behind my computer and tell you that all you have to do is talk about things and they will magically be better. I know that it’s hard, and that it will take a lot of practice. The first time you ask a partner to use a condom, maybe there will be an awkward pause. The first time you tell your doctor how many sexual partners you’ve had you may blush. But once you have taken that step a condom will be unrolled, your doctor will move on to another question and you will be able to take a sigh of relief that you were brave enough to take your sexual health into your own hands. So lube it up!

Oh, That’s The Spot

sheptalk — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 20:44:17 +0000

Oh, sexual pleasure. It’s not a coincidence that it has been a fascination of humans for centuries, or that there’s countless materials and whole industries centered around topic. The capacity for pleasure is built right into our bodies.

Take a look at the clitoris for example: it’s an organ in the female body which has the sole purpose of sexual gratification. Located right under where the inner labias part, below the pubic bond, this pea-sized hot spot can be stimulated by sucking, rubbing, licking, rushing water, vibrating… but every body is different. Directly touching the clit may be uncomfortable or painful for some people due to its sensitivity, though, and stimulation for an extended period of time can also be uncomfortable others. It’s best to ask your partner what feels good as you’re maneuvering your way around their curves. Heck, it might even make for great dirty talk.

About 1 in 3 female-bodied folks have trouble reaching orgasm when with a partner. Now, this is not to say they aren’t feeling some kind of pleasure: a person doesn’t have to orgasm to enjoy sex, and psychological or emotional pleasure can also be derived from erotic encounters.

But if you are 1 of 3 having difficulty and are looking to orgasm with a partner, here’s some tips:

Try clitoral stimulation before, during, or after sex- whether that be vaginal, anal, or oral. Most women experience orgasm through clitoral stimulation rather than through vaginal penetration.
Try masturbating solo. Masturbation by yourself can help you to discover what kind of stimulation you enjoy at your own pace, without the pressure of time or a partner in front of you. You can use anything from your fingers to running water to sex toys like vibrators. And once you know what makes you feel good, you’ll be better able to direct your partner around your body and help them get you going.

Another erogenous zone to check out if you’re hunting down pleasure is the prostate. Also known as the “P-spot” or “male G-spot,” the prostate is a gland found in male-bodied people which can provide some intense sexual pleasure, regardless of sexual orientation. It’s not directly accessible like the clit though: the P-spot is located inside the body and can be reached anally. Some men find that they can orgasm solely from P-spot stimulation, while others find that their orgasms are much more intense when their prostate is being titillated. If you’re male-bodied and interested in what your prostate can do for your sex life, here’s some tips for getting started:

Try an anal toy. There’s tons of sex toys that are specifically designed to help men discover and stimulate their prostates. Some vibrate, others don’t. It’s really up to you and what you like, but look for a toy with a flared base and a curve towards to tip of the toy.
LUBE! The anus doesn’t naturally lubricate itself like the vagina or mouth, so make sure to use a generous amount of lubricant for easy sliding and a more pleasurable experience. Note: don’t use silicone lube if you’re using a silicone anal sex toy.

Your body is a site for pleasure all on its own. So save your money and celebrate the end of midterms with some free, potentially explosive self-exploration.

Sources:

Happy Hunting: in search of the best condom

sheptalk — Tue, 12 Jul 2011 00:49:49 +0000

With so many condoms out there it’s hard to know which is best. Do you simply pick the one someone suggests in an article because it works for them? Or do you use whatever is handy? Choosing the condom that’s right for you can be exciting. What works well for your best friend, may not work so well for you. Experimenting with many different condoms can be fun and happens to be the best way to find the condom that is perfect for you. Hopefully this information will help you decide what condom is best for you.

I suggest considering three important factors when choosing the condom that’s right for you: purpose, material and size. First and foremost is the purpose of sex. Are you having sex with the intention of getting pregnant or catching a sexually transmitted infection (STI)? If not, then read on! When used correctly condoms are up to 98% effective (typical use is around 83% effective) with preventing unintended pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and HIV.1,2

Traditional or Insertive? Condoms come in two main types: traditional and insertive. Both types of condom prevent pregnancy, STIs and HIV by creating a barrier between your body and someone else’s during sex thus prohibiting the exchange of bodily fluids. Traditional condoms are worn on a penis or penis like object such as a dildo, while insertive condoms are worn by the person being penetrated. You may have heard the latter referred to as a “female” condom, but it’s so much more than that. It’s a condom that can be worn by females, males and folks somewhere in between for vaginal or anal sex. Amazing! I know, right?

Latex or Non-latex? Second factor you’ll want to consider when choosing the perfect condom is material. Both traditional and insertive condoms come in at least 5 materials that I can think of. Most people are only familiar with latex condoms as they tend to be the most widely available. Latex condoms are pretty stretchy and fantastic for allowing heat to transfer. They also effectively prevent unintended pregnancy as well as many bacterial and viral STIs and HIV. Latex condoms are not compatible with oil-based lubricants and some people are sensitive to this material. Only traditional condoms come in latex.

If you are sensitive to latex there are several material options available for you like polyisoprene, polyurethane, nitrile and animal skin. Yes, you read that correctly, some condoms are made of animal skin. “Animal skin” condoms are actually made from the intestinal membranes and not skin. Such condoms are great for folks who want a more natural feel. It is important to remember animal skin condoms only protect against pregnancy. This is because much like human membranes, animal membranes have pores which may allow unwanted microorganisms and viruses to pass through. Animal skin condoms are only available in traditional condoms.

Polyisoprene, polyurethane and nitrile condoms are similar to latex in that they prevent both pregnancy and STIs but do not cause irritation associated with latex making them an awesome alternative for folks with latex sensitivity. Polyisoprene condoms resemble latex with regard to color and stretchiness. These condoms are soft and comfortable. Polyisoprene is derived of natural rubber. Polyisoprene condoms are not compatible with oil-based lubes. Polyurethane condoms are made of plastic and tend to be clear and thin. Condoms made of this material transfer heat extremely well which may increase pleasure for some people. Plastic is not as flexible as latex therefore polyurethane condoms are a bit less stretchy yet pleasurable nonetheless. Polyurethane condoms can be paired with any type of lubricant. Traditional and insertive condoms offer a polyurethane option. These condoms are currently available as an insertive option only. Nitrile condoms are softer than polyurethane and significantly decreases sounds associated with polyurethane insertive condoms.

Small, Medium, or Large? When choosing which condom is best for you, size is a factor worth considering too. A condom that is too loose may not avoid the exchange of bodily fluid. Condoms that are too tight may break due to friction or roll up a phallus until it comes off inside your partner’s body. If fishing condoms out of bodies is not your thing, then having an appropriately sized condom is necessary. Traditional condom sizes vary by brand. Most regular condoms fit the average male penis when erect, which is about 5-7 inches in length and 4-5 inches in circumference. A smaller than average penis may be well accommodated with a “snugger” fit condom. While it may be best to use a larger condom such as a Trojan Magnum, Kimono Maxx or LifeStyle XL for toys and penis’ that are larger than average. For specific information on condom sizes by brand, visit http://www.condom-sizes.org/condom-size-chart/condom-size-chart. It is important to try several brands and sizes to determine which fit is best for you or your partner. Condoms should fit comfortably around the penis head, and shaft, down to the base. Tang Center Urgent Care Supervisor and Nurse Practitioner, Lee Fagan, suggests people find a “brand that fits good and stick with it.”

After considering the basics you can think about flavors, colors and textures! Flavored condoms can make oral sex on a penis (fellatio) tastier. Traditional condoms come in a wide variety of flavors such as vanilla, strawberry mint and more. If you decide to use these tasty treats, remember they are for mouth to penis sex only. Flavored condoms may lead to vaginal or anal irritation and possible infection. Traditional condoms come in several different colors with or without flavors. You can even get a condom that glows in the dark! Play around with various fun textures like smooth, studded, ribbed, and more! Textured condoms are designed to increase pleasurable sensations for the partner being penetrated.

Now that you have the 4-1-1 on what to consider when looking for the best condom, talk to your partner(s) about which you’ll try next. If you’re on campus the fabulous folks of Health Promotion – located on the 2nd floor in the Tang Center – have a variety of condom samples available free of charge. Know what you like and want more? Come to the Tang Center Pharmacy before your next sexperience and stock up on name brand condoms at an inexpensive price. You never want to be in the situation where you’re hot, horny and ready to have steamy sex only to realize that you nor your partner brought condoms. Don’t rely on your partner for your protection. Be prepared at all times. Carry your favorite condoms with you in a safe, dry place free from exposure to heat. Plastic, vinyl or tin condom carriers are great for this. Happy informed condom hunting!

Robin Mills, MA
SHEP Staff Coordinator

Today is for Tomorrow

sheptalk — Thu, 09 Jun 2011 16:13:44 +0000

It’s crazy important to stay healthy, especially when you’re busy thinking about your homework, or what to wear on Saturday night, or how you’re going to pay your cell phone bill.

You’d be surprised to find out, it’s much easier than you think. Take these 3 simple steps at TodayisforTomorrow.org:
1. Sign up for weekly inspirational text messages: Text ‘today’ to 61827. Standard messaging rates may apply.
2. Enter to win a $2,000 scholarship! Tell us one small change you can make today to be healthier tomorrow and you’re in the running. On Facebook? If so, you can enter the contest there!
3. Read more about getting healthy.

Tell your friends about the ‘Today is for Tomorrow’ campaign! Forward this message to a friend OR visit the T4T homepage, click on the black-and-orange Today is For Tomorrow box and go to the ‘SHARE’ tab. From there you can easily share the campaign with your networks via Facebook, Twitter, email and other networking sites.

Happy summer!
The ISIS team

Sex and the Media

sheptalk — Mon, 02 May 2011 18:04:51 +0000

Everyday, people are bombarded with sexual images that promote violence against women and men. The implications of these images become a form of symbolic violence against women and men. Many of these include making women and men think they have to look and be a certain way. Women and men are literally killing themselves to look like something that is unrealistic and that has never really represented the population. This becomes a public health issue, because women and men are resulting to unhealthy sexual and dietary responses.

After the military I moved to the bay for school, I was immersed in a very white-centric gay community. As a Chicano gay male, I began to develop insecurities about my body. The men that I was interested in were not attracted to me because I was not their type. Men were more engrossed in how another man looked than to getting to know who they were. Men of color are not really represented in the gay community. Their bodies are not seen as desirable in comparison to their white counterparts. Every time I looked in the mirror I saw a fat person. I wanted to be desirable and in a way, validated by these men in the gay community. I resorted to eating once a day and exercising twice a day.

After a couple of months, my unhealthy dietary practices were starting to take a toll on my body. I was told by my doctor that I was mal nourished and underweight. This explained why I was always fatigue and couldn’t concentrate in school. I began to start seeing a therapist and through therapy, I was able to deconstruct the negative feelings I had for myself. It has been a continuing process in developing a healthy self-esteem and positive body image.
– Randy Medina
Sex 101: Topics in Sexual Health DeCal

National Condom Day 2011!

sheptalk — Wed, 02 Feb 2011 22:11:48 +0000

The week you all have been waiting for is almost here! National Condom Week, originating in 1978 on the campus of the University of California at Berkeley, recognizes the importance of and to promote SAFE SEX. It began as a movement that reminds each individual that loving themselves and everyone around them does not only involve affection but also self-care: preventing the spread of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and avoiding unplanned pregnancies with the use of condoms!

This year, Valentine’s Day will be the kick-off for National Condom Week until February 21. Since the 1980s many groups and institutions have joined Cal’s movement to spread the significance of protected sex, including high schools, colleges, family planning organizations, AIDS groups, sexually transmitted disease awareness groups, pharmacies, and condom manufacturers.

To refresh your memory on the importance of condoms, did you know…
• Traditional (a.k.a. male) condoms are 98% effective, and insertive (a.k.a. female) condoms are 95% effective at preventing the transmission of STDs and unplanned pregnancies with perfect use?
• HIV and other sexually transmitted viruses and bacteria CAN be transmitted during oral, vaginal, or anal intercourse? So always use a condom or a dental dam!
• HIV CANNOT pass through condoms?
• U.S. consumers now purchase more than 440 million condoms per year.
• Got a latex allergy? No problem—polyurethane or polyisoprene synthetic condoms can be used in lieu and work just as effectively!
• You must use a new condom before each sex act: oral, anal or vaginal!?
• LUBRICATION IS COMMUNICATION! When you use lubricants, use only water-based lubricants with latex condoms and avoid oil-based lubricants like cold cream, mineral oil, petroleum jelly, body lotions, massage oil, or baby oil that can tear latex condoms.
• Don’t store that condom in your wallet or back pocket! Condoms should not be kept in temperatures above 85°F. Rather, store condoms in a cool, dry place, and be aware of their expiration date!

As the Sexual Health Education Program, a student organization under the Tang Center at Cal, we will be honoring the event on February 14th. SHEP will be on the Sproul Steps from 10am to 2pm, bringing safer kits, educational games and information, music, and raffle prizes to the students of Cal! These are tools that SHEP uses to help educate young adults about the risks involved with unprotected sex. Normalizing sex and sexuality on a college campus and making sex education fun for all mature ages are the goals of SHEP.

So essentially, Remember, “NO GLOVE, NO LOVE!”

Resources:
Corinna, Heather. S.E.X.: the all-you-need-to-know progressive sexuality guide to get you through high school and college.
Planned Parenthood: http://www.facebook.com/notes/planned-parenthood/national-condom-week-february-14-21-2010/342837019516
National Condom Week: http://www.nationalcondomweek.com/
Feminist Campus: http://www.feministcampus.org/condom_woa.asp

~ Stacy Songco