Can you recall the moment when you asked for something for the first time? How your whole body waited patiently for that agonizing answer? That YES that would relief you of all the pressure you had built inside. Now take note on all the things you ask for everyday without hesitation or a second thought.
Since toddlers we were conditioned to ask for everything from food to if we could play and the lesson did not stop there. We were taught to speak the word ‘Yes’ to confirm our desire to obtain what was asked of us. The message of a question followed by an answer was quickly received and implanted into our long-term memories. However, we seem to have misplaced our childhood memories in the process of becoming adults. We are no longer searching through our experiences to gain an understanding of the world around us. So are we truly adapting forward as humans?
Nowadays, we seem disabled in our ability to ask clearly our yearning for sexual intercourse. We are impatient to receive an authorizing yes. Which brings us to another lesson to learn or better said RE-learn. How do we ask for consent?
Consent is the act of accepting or agreeing to something proposed or desired by another and therefore giving formal permission for something to happen. A simple definition that would be easy to understand conversely as humans we seem to not acknowledge prior information. Even though as children we were not told that when we asked for something we really were asking for consent we simply just asked. However, as adults we have learned better right? Hopefully now we can distinguish when consent is being given.
So…do you want to have sex ever? Ask. It does not matter in what language you hear a ‘Yes’. As long as, you receive one before engaging into any extracurricular activities. And if you know how to work it right, I’m sure that will not be the only time you hear your partner say, yell, or moan it back to you.
Do you remember now the first time you learned the power behind the word ‘Yes’? Either getting the green light or giving the enthusiastic consent. Do you remember how you felt? Well, sex under the blessing of consent will either match that feeling or surpass it. Don’t give yourself the red light and ruin your luck by ‘forgetting’ to ask for consent. Join the multiple orgasms of the enthusiastic consent.
~ Lucero
SHEP Sexpert