It’s common to hear that people are in long distance relationships on this campus, myself included, and they often have people tell them that it won’t work because they are young and it is fleeting love, however, this is not necessarily true for everyone.  There may be rough patches that the couples go through, especially when one is attending Cal.  Sometimes one or both partners get stressed and that tends to create tension between the partners.  I found an article from Cosmopolitan’s website titled “How to Keep a Long-Distance Relationship Strong and Sexy” and I just wanted to quickly review some of the tips they suggest for long-distance couples.  This week I’ll review the first 5, and next week I will review the last six.

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Tip 1:  Cosmo suggests that couples “Talk it up” and decide when and how often is a good time to talk.  I fully agree with this, maybe even bringing this conversation up each semester in order to work around new schedules.   Talk about when to video call, or if you can/want to text all day, or any other details about communication you and your partner should agree on.

Tip 2:  “Keep[ing] things light” is also a good idea.  Sometimes worrying too much about being apart is what makes it more difficult.  Keeping conversations happy and telling them what’s going on at the moment helps the relationship feel more traditional and close.

Tip 3:  I mostly agree with the “One time you should never text” recommendation but also recall that sometimes arguments start over messaging and it’s not always possible to transfer to voice or video calling but it’s important to not respond harshly in messages.  It’s easy to be more detached and inconsiderate in a messaging argument because you aren’t directly looking at someone and seeing how they react and feel.  In those heated moments, just remember to take a step back and if you are going to reply rudely maybe it is best to hold off on responding.

Tip 4:  “Get on the same page” with your life and relationship goals.  I believe this is extremely important because each partner needs to know what the other is expecting in this relationship. Planning individual goals and comparing them can also be helpful in seeing when your two paths will finally meet (location-wise of course).

Tip 5:  Cosmo also proposes to “start tripping.”  Although taking trips to see each other is very important, it is a bit difficult as college students, many of whom are not employed or are working in order to pay for school.  Facetime, Skype, and other modes of video chatting are a great substitute for those large blocks between visits.  However, if either of you have the ability, time and resources to visit, it is definitely important for both of you to spend some quality physical time together!

To be continued…

 

~Sexpert Melissa