Maybe you were fascinated watching characters in movies being tied up as a kid. Maybe you accidently came across bondage porn as a teenager and began watching it exclusively. Maybe you were fascinated with 50 Shades of Grey in high school. Maybe you craved to be spanked during your first sexual experience in college. No matter how long the kinky cravings have been there, now that you’re off at college in the liberal San Francisco Bay Area you may want to explore what the world has to offer outside the privacy of your room.


You may be nervous about getting out there because you imagine the public scene to be full of people wearing black leather head to toe who are serious in how they act and position themselves, or other such intimidating situations. While this is true in some subsets of the community, the main public community is open and welcoming. Their attitude toward kink is best summarized by kink educator Midori’s definition, that it’s “joyous childish play with adult sexual privilege and cool toys.”

There are a few easy ways to get involved. If you are still nervous about going out in public, check out which is Facebook for kinksters. Here you can find events and see how the community generally acts. If you are feeling braver, there are munches (events where kink subjects are discussed but not practiced, usually in vanilla attire over food or drink) on a variety of subjects in many cities. The main place where these are hosted in San Francisco is Wicked Grounds, a kink-themed coffee shop. There are also a variety of public dungeons you can go to parties at including but not limited to the Citadel, Alchemy, Black Thorn, and Mission Control.

If you are still nervous or want more guidance, Berkeley now boasts a Kink Club that is a community in itself that is more than happy to help. You can email them at kinkclubberkeley at if you have any questions or just want to have a conversation.

Happy exploring!

Caning Kylie

SHEP Student Leader

Kink Club President