Hi sexy people! This week we talked about consent and sexual debuts. We can never talk too
much about consent! I love talking about sexual debuts because I think it makes people think
about their own experiences and reflect on what debuts they have already had. Also, it steers
away from virginity and the negative perception that comes with it. The best part of class was
the cookies and consent activity. It really puts into perspective the importance of
communicating and being specific with what you want. This applies great to any sexual
experience someone may have.
Hello, you sexy being! I’m Clitty Crystal and I am an intern for the Sexual Health Education Program (SHEP) at the amazing Tang Center. I’m currently a 3rd year student studying Integrative Biology and hope to one day go to medical school to become a gynecologist. I have always been fascinated with reproductive and sexual health because both are surrounded by a plethora of myths and misconceptions, and that’s what made SHEP so enticing to me; not only would the program make me a resource to you lovely individuals, but it would also be an opportunity to promote facts (not the alternative kind) and tons upon tons of sex positivity on our campus. There as so many things I’m looking forward to as a SHEPI, but the one I’m most excited about is getting to meet all of you, whether it be tabling at the Tang Centers on Fridays from 11:30 – 2:30 pm or events that we host. “Cum” visit me or any of the incredible SHEP staff members to get your questions answered, stock up on free sexy goodies, and/or to say hi! We promise that we don’t bite 😉
Hello UC Berkeley Community! My name is Naughty Naddie and I am one of this years latest additions to the wonderful Sexual Health Peer Educator Program at the Tang Center. I am currently embarking on my Sophomore year here at UC Berkeley in pursuits of studying Integrative Biology in hopes of unlocking the secrets of life in addition to what makes us humans tick (hubba hubba!). I chose to join the ranks of SHEP as looking back at my life and and all my experiences with relationships and sexuality have overall been positive (and sometimes quite comical!) and I feel can in turn be better transformed into a resource for my friends and peers to use as a guide for any of their questions that they might have on their journey toward sexual positivity.
One of the many great things about SHEP is that it empowers peers to help each other in the right way- with compassion, clarity, and professional training that enables students to comfortably seek CORRECT AND VALID advice from someone just like them. In my experience, if I ever needed any advice on the topic of sexual health my peers were always the people I turned to and I don’t know where I would be without them. This is why this Fall I will undertake the all too important role as a SHEPI (Sexual Health Education Program Intern) and attempt to be there for you, you sexy bears of Berkeley as countless others have been there for me. That’s right you kinky bears, any questions or concerns you might have, I will be there to answer any and all of them- that’s right, ANY OF THEM. So with this introduction, I ask us to beckon in the new semester with positivity, laughter, smiles, and of course safer sex! I hope to see you at the Tang Center or any of our other events this semester and as always, stay sexy Golden Bears!
This week was my first time leading Decal! While we only did basic, introductory stuff, it was
really exciting to finally get the ball rolling. We started off with an introduction of the course and
went over the syllabus. Then, we got into the fun stuff! We did sexy names and played “Move
Your Ass.” The class is really small, so going forward, I think it is really important that my co-
facilitator, Noel, and I keep the energy high and the class engaged. The class seems pretty sex
positive and diverse, so I am looking forward to the conversations we will be having. I am super
excited to get into the juicy stuff next week with anatomy and sexual health!!
Jessica and I walked around Sproul and Sather Gate to complete our Random Acts of Sexiness. We attempted to target different “types” of people to see who would accept a condom happily and who would laugh and avoid eye contact with us. One thing we both noticed immediately were overwhelming majority of reactions that were made up of embarrassment and avoidance of us. Even though I am aware and have been convinced that Berkeley is a very sex positive environment, there were so many people that immediately became uncomfortable from the word “sex” or “condom”. But also I realized that since we have such a diverse range of cultures at Berkeley, it’s completely understandable that people from different cultures that don’t emphasize sex education or even talk about sex, would feel uncomfortable when a random stranger asks if they would like a free condom. Sex is such a natural human need and I feel like it shouldn’t be something that is spoken in hushed tones behind closed doors. These reactions made me realize that topics surrounding sex and sexual health need more attention and discussion. Safe, consensual sex should be celebrated and I think it’s really fun to talk about sex and share experiences with other people. I hope that through RAS, people that did AND did not accept condoms will at least think about sex and sexual health and become more open and comfortable to the topic. Another thing Jessica and I changed during the experience was to change the way we approached people from “Would you like a free condom?” to “Would you like a free condom, provided by the Tang Center?”. Then we would explain that we were in the Sex DeCal and promoting safe sex and sexual health. But people were more willing to accept a condom with the inclusion of the Tang Center because the condom’s seemed more reliable to take instead of seeming like they were taking really sketchy old condoms. All in all, Jessica and I had a lot of fun and laughed a lot completing our Random Acts of Sexiness. This experience was very insightful and eye-opening.
Daisy and I passed out condoms in front of MLK. It was super chill and a lot of fun. We were lucky because we were there during a high traffic period where there was a lot of students, but still a lot of people weren’t really taking the condoms. People weren’t weird about it at all. There seemed to be a binary between people who wouldn’t take the condoms (the majority) and the people who wanted the condoms actually would want more. One of my guy friends I ran into while passing out the condoms commented that people probably wouldn’t take them if they were coming from him (just because he’s a guy) so I gave him a couple and we tried competing passing them out. People were just as accepting of his condoms as they were of mine. I think part of the reason people didn’t mind/weren’t weird about it at all is because people are used to be passed unusual things while out on sproul/in Berkeley in general.
There wasn’t anything particularly noteworthy about how people accepted condoms. I did feel a little awkward because I was basically standing out there in public very loudly asking people to take my condoms, but it was also really fun and funny and I think those kinds of experiences make me feel more comfortable with myself and being open about the topic of sex. People found the little comments on them really cute and funny and some people snapchatted them. There wasn’t a dramatic difference between the number of guys or girls who took my condoms.
This decal has been a lot of fun and I’m glad I could participate in these kinds of activities that push me outside of my regular activities and my comfort zone!
Savannah and I were partners for this awesome project. I had known beforehand that frat parties were now required to conduct consent talks at the door. However, from what I have seen, this usually involved a rushed fraternity brother reading from his phone and some bored people waiting for him to be done so they could go get turnt with their friends. So, when we got assigned to this project, Savannah and I decided to take try to participate in these pre- frat party consent talks and hand out some condoms.
We knew some brothers in one fraternity not too far from our house so that weekend we went out and approached them at the door. They granted us permission to participate by handing out condoms and the night began! I think we upped the enthusiasm on their talks quite a bit and it seemingly made some people comfortable and others clearly less so. This is surprising to me because of all the places to be uncomfortable talking about sex- a frat party should be one of the last. Literally, five feet behind the door are people grinding and making out and potentially leaving together. Why is it somehow more acceptable to engage in or watch that happen but not to talk about it? It’s as if some young people don’t want to be confronted by exactly what they know they might experience. This made me even happier to be handing out condoms because I thought to myself, “if they don’t even want to discuss sex- did they think to bring protection out with them”?
The gender dynamic was also an interesting things to observe. Many of the men didn’t want to take condoms, I think this was at risk of looking too forward or “creepy”. In a way, I do understand that. If I went out to a party with a guy I was maybe interested in and he grabbed like 4 free condoms as we were walking in, I might be a little weirded out. (Which I know is crazy- better safe than sorry!!!!) But, there is no denying that this stigma exists. Women often cited not having pockets as a reason they couldn’t grab one- to which we hinted just to stick them in the side of your bra or dress or anything else to ensure you don’t get stuck without one.
Overall, I think that it is shocking to see how shy people are when talking about sex even in an environment filled with sexual acts happening. Even more so, people are ashamed to admit that they might be having sex later than night even if they are potentially thinking it. I think it might have been more effective to just stick a bowl of condoms in the bathroom or something- ending the stigma around sex is hard and people are more likely to take one when nobody’s watching. I almost can’t believe frats don’t already do this, condoms should be as essential to any fraternity party as franzia boxed wine!
Many understand, or have been told relentlessly, the importance of a healthy diet, but did you know your diet and nutrition can affect your sex drive and performance? For example, blood flow to the sex organs is essential when it comes to sexual arousal. A diet consisting of high saturated fats over time can cause plaque build-up in the arteries. Moreover, something very important to note, plaque can start building anywhere! If it starts to build around the pelvic region, one might begin to notice the decrease in blood flow into their sex organ.
The next example, which I will go into more detail later, involves having high blood sugar. Now many people, myself included, enjoy eating sweet treats for various reasons. But did you know, they are also great to “sweeten up” one’s sex life? However, for those who have high blood sugar, the high concentration of sugar in the blood can cause nerve damage over time, which can lead to less sensation.
At the moment, this blog does not seem so fun. Let’s talk about things you can consume that can help your sexual experience. Vitamin E and Vitamin B3 (Niacin) can help with blood flow and circulation, which can improve sensation and performance. Vitamin E is abundant in almonds, spinach, sweet potatoes, and avocado. Niacin can be found in meat, peanuts, and mushrooms. In addition, niacin and magnesium are known relaxants and can even prevent premature ejaculation. Other helpful nutrients include vitamin A, which is essential for production of sex hormones; and zinc, which promotes the production of testosterone. For those looking for a harder erection or more stamina, foods like watermelon, chili peppers, apples, ginger, bananas, oats, garlic, dark chocolate, beef, and spinach have claims on helping with sexual performance. The effects range from decreasing stress, improving blood flow, helping with erectile dysfunction, or increasing certain nutrients that I have mentioned.
Now, for the best part, what are good foods to having while getting it on? First thing that comes to many minds is chocolate! Chocolate, especially dark chocolate, can help with relieving stress. If you or your partner are a little anxious, this may help decrease some tension so you both can perform at optimal levels, if not better. Another popular food that can come to mind are strawberries or chocolate covered strawberries! They aren’t abundant in the vitamins or minerals I mentioned before, but they are loaded with vitamin C, which is important for your immune system. When you’re engaging with your partner, you will be exposed to the germs and bacteria on or in their body. Having a strong immune system can help prevent you from getting sick, especially if your partner is sick. Now don’t misinterpret what I’m saying. I’m talking about a cold or something in that nature. If you’re trying to prevent STI’s from being transmitted, Vitamin C isn’t going to cut it. I recommend a barrier method like condoms. Last thing I would recommend is water! It would not hurt to have some water with you during sex. It is a physical activity and becoming thirsty is natural (pun intended). Hydration is most important in keeping your body elastic and helps the vagina to stay naturally lubricated.
If you are interested, try some of these helpful tips to improve your sex life. It may or may not work for some people, but it wouldn’t hurt to try. Also, remember to consume everything in moderation. I hope you all enjoyed this little blog. Thanks for taking the time to read it!
For Sexual Health Awareness Week (SHAW), I helped table on Sproul on Wednesday’s Asexuality Awareness themed day!
I had a lot of fun tabling with other sexperts and some decal students. Some students tried on the vulva and penis costumes, and it was quite the experience for one of them to embrace wearing the penis costume. 🙂
We also handed out lots of lube, flavored lube (mint, vanilla, and chocolate), and dental dams. Our dental dams got a lot of attention! Many of the people who stopped by our table had seen me waving around a purple grape-flavored dental dam and didn’t know what it was – it was great getting to tell more people about dental dams, since a lot of people don’t know they even exist.
Dental dams are an awesome barrier method for oral sex on a vulva or anus. Many people don’t think about barrier methods of protection for oral, and if they do, it’s usually a flavored traditional condom for penises. Other forms of oral sex can still lead to STIs though! If you don’t have any on hand, it’s super easy to make one out of either an exam glove (latex or nitrile – just make sure there aren’t any allergies to the materials) or a traditional condom.
For a glove, just slice off the fingers and cut up the side (cutting the thumb off is optional, as it can be a convenient sleeve for the tongue) – you should end up with a square-ish piece of the glove. For a traditional condom, slice both ends off (the closed tip and the ring) and cut up the side. Voila! That’s it!
You can also use clear cling/saran wrap if you have nothing else on hand. Just make sure it’s not the microwavable kind – those have pores that would still allow STIs and bacteria to pass through! It’s also easier to make bigger pieces for dental dams with cling wrap, or you can even try your hand at some mummification play (perfect for Halloween!).
Make sure to write a non-reversible letter on the side you’re using so you don’t accidentally switch sides (for instance, if you lose positioning or drop it). If you end up using the side for your partner, then the point is moot. Stay protected!
To increase pleasure/sensation with dental dams, just apply some lube on the side of the receiver. It’ll transfer heat better and decrease the amount of friction!
As always, come see us in the Tang Health Promotions Office on the second floor on Fridays 12-3pm if you have questions! You can also message us on Facebook or email us at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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